Bedroom Camping

In January, Ethan slept a comfortable night in a dirty snowbank while a storm blew through the area. At the same time, I was having a rough night nearby in a heated barn on a nicely padded cot. Aside from worrying about said snowbank collapsing on my son, it was simply hard to be comfortable away from my soft bed. Maybe I just haven’t conditioned myself for abnormal sleep the way Ethan does.

I’ve studied his habits carefully over the past few months and can now reveal Ethan’s Secrets for Preparing for Camp-outs While Still at Home as a series of handy tips.

Tip #1:  Sleep in your clothes. On those cold November nights in a tent, who wants to strip down to anything less than your jeans? And besides, you’re ready to shoot out of bed in the morning.

Tip #2: Sleep in your sleeping bag. Sheets? Blankets? What’s the point? Just lay your sleeping bag out on your bed and you’re set. On cold nights, a blanket stuffed into the sleeping bag keeps you toasty. Bonus points if your normal bedding remains sufficiently unmussed so as not to require making in the morning. 

Tip #3: Sleep in random places. One night as he was headed to bed Ethan said, “Dad, don’t freak out if you check on me later and I’m not there. I’m going to sleep in my closet tonight to see if I like it.” This tip especially helps by inuring you to that strange sensation of not knowing where you are when you wake up.

Apparently the closet turned out cozy because Gerrit joined him in there the next night, sleeping on a pile of blankets.

Tip #4: Ignore the clock. A couple of weeks ago, I was awakened by the hall light turning on at 4 AM. As I stumbled out to see what was going on, I found Ethan rummaging for a snack in the pantry. He was fully dressed, as expected from tip #1, but he had already showered too. He said that he thought it was 6 AM, and when I pointed out that it absolutely was not 6 AM he said, “That’s funny — I did this same thing a few days ago, but it was 1 AM that time.”  I think that this carefully cultivated skill of getting up whenever you become semi-conscious lets you get by on any amount of sleep while camping.

Tip #5: Create comfort wherever you are. Recently Ethan tipped his bed frame on its side and created an enclosure where he could sleep later that night. What could this be except returning to that safe, comfortable time when he was a baby and slept in a crib?

So there you go, folks. Just follow these simple tips and you’ll be fine the next time you need to crash in a pile of snow for the night.