Issue 2

January 24, 1990 Issue 2 Provo, Utah

In this issue:

First Word

This issue of Sparks is, in part, an attempt to share some of what I’ve learned lately. Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “The difference between hoping you could do something great for society and doing something great for society is education.” Elder Nelson, being one of the pioneers of the heart lung machine and open heart surgery seems to know what he is talking about.

An Evening with Alan Ashton

On Tuesday, the 23rd, I had the chance to attend a fairly small and informal meeting with Alan Ashton, president of WordPerfect. WordPerfect is the world leader in word processing software, and is based just next door in Orem. To give you an idea of how well the company is doing, a couple of years ago they sent all of their employees to Hawaii as a bonus for having doubled their sales that year. But Dr. Ashton clearly doesn’t take himself too seriously. He welcomed all questions and comments from us, shared some experiences about his family and gave away baseball caps while he related some of the history of his company. He also gave M&M’s to everyone present because two M’s are significant to his accomplishments. Mathematics, firstly, since he was a professor at BYU teaching math and computer science, and also Music, because his partner was the director of the Cougar Marching Band (in addition to being a talented programmer.)

The Woes of Calculus

Despite the delightful news that my CS152 class (discrete mathematics) has nothing to do with calculus, my Math 113 class has everything to do with calculus. So what’s wrong with calculus anyway? Well, all through my math related education I simplified expressions and solved equations and stuff like that. Calculus has this general tendency to complicate expressions. You start with a somewhat complex but nicely arranged rational function with an integral sign in the front and through the wonders of calculus turn it into a loathsome mathematical monstrosity. I have been able to apply a calculus principle in a more general sense, though. This is the technique of substitution. When I’m working on a particularly grueling problem, I simply substitute my homework from other classes in the place of my calculus homework and I feel much better. Discrete mathematics, we refer to affectionately as the Mickey Mouse dot-to-dot class. It is a little difficult to explain exactly what I mean by that, but there is one thing of interest we learned that I’d like to share. Suppose you want to color a map. Any map. But you want each region to have a color different from all the colors of the regions that are adjacent to it. At most, how many colors will you need? Just four. And there is a systematic way of doing the coloring, too. So that’s a sample of what we learn In that class.

Why I’m So Good at Computer Games

Years ago, Kerry used to get really mad at me when we would be playing Atari because he was sure that somehow I was cheating by talking to the computer. But really, in those days, I didn’t know how to talk to a computer. Only now am I learning the language. When you program a computer in BASIC or Pascal, you are only communicating with the computer by way of an interpreter (just like if you were speaking to a person who doesn’t understand English). But now I am learning a little machine language to be able to actually communicate with a computer in its native tongue. It is very interesting. So now Kerry can have grounds for suspicion…

The Choir of Choirs

On Sunday I had the privilege of seeing live the weekly installment of the longest continuous broadcast in the free world. It was the 3,153rd broadcast of “Music and the Spoken Word.” What a great feeling to be in the Tabernacle and hear the choir sing. In attendance were the Governor of Utah and his wife, as well as several general authorities of the Church. John Longhurst, for an organ solo, played “Toccata” from Ave Maria by Charles-Marie Widor. It seems like that is a favorite of Dean’s, as I remember.

Ancient Scripture

It’s a strange thing how numb you can become when not studying the scriptures like you ought to. Numb is a good word because you don’t feel the lack. There was a letter in the priesthood manual that I found interesting in this regard:

“Dear Edgar You told me of an experience you once had with a deer-hunting companion in the high Uinta mountains late one fall in bitter cold and stormy weather. Your companion had become lost, panicky and exhausted from running over the mountainside. He had finally lain down under a pine tree, and by sheer luck you had come upon him before he froze to death. He was still conscious and could talk to you but in his numbed condition, claimed he was not cold at all. No amount of coaxing on your part could persuade him to get up and move around. He begged to be left alone, insisting he was perfectly comfortable and got sore [angry] when you dragged him to his feet and made him move. He really cussed you plenty, you said, when you at last in desperation picked up a stick and laid one or two across his back until he moved to get out of the reach of it. You had to drive him more than a mile like that, for every time you got sympathetic and eased up with the stick, he’d lie down again. Finally, however, you got him moving faster and faster to get out of the way of the stick and his blood warmed up and began circulating so when he could think clearly again he thanked you with tears in his eyes time and time again for using the stick and saving his life.”

I’m glad right now to be able to take two religion classes so that I can overcome some of the numbness that I had. Last semester I was really overpowered by the secular, but now I’m trying to get some more balance, “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his soul?”

Last Word

I actually sat down today with the intent to only write a little of the text for this issue. But the substitution method seems to work pretty well with this to avoid doing my calculus homework until the last possible moment (or later). I’d love to hear from you all!

Issue 1

December 30, 1989 Issue 1 Provo, Utah

In this issue:

A New Source of Information

Now that I have some real desktop publishing capabilities, I thought It appropriate to make good use of them. Some of you may have read the newspaper-like letter that I made a few months ago. That trick wasn’t repeated because, in all honesty, it was a pain in the neck to set it up, and it didn’t look that good in the end anyway. So here it is, the start of something that I hope will last. I hope that Sparks from the Smithy will eventually become the world’s forum for all intellectual writing, and after that, I hope to print The Far Side.

-The Editor

Provo Welcomes Eric Home

After a mostly uneventful flight from PDX to SLC (except for some nauseating bread with strange fruit-things stuck in it) Uncle Gordon came and drove me back to Provo. My roommate, Bob, in the embodiment of the entire population of the city declared, “Oh, hey. You’re back. Was that your dad you were with?” The apartment is a little empty though. Notably missing are Brian, Sang, and a plate of chocolates I had left in my cupboard. The Sears Telecatalog Center was also rather desolate when I returned to work. I wondered, “Now why was it that I didn’t get a few more days off’?” Then I remembered that they were paying me to be there and earning money is conducive to eating.

BYU Blows the Bowl

In surely one of the most nerve racking football games ever played, BYU hit the gridiron with their powerful, muscular, intelligent squad and, sadly, lost. Ty Detmer passed for some three million yards but had to learn the hard way that he ought to fall down faster when he gets sacked or hold on to the ball tighter. My roommate, Sang, who was actually there to see it all live must surely be thinking, “I came all this way, paid all this money for this?” And it looks like dinner is on Kent.

Math Stuff

I’m happy to discover that discrete mathematics is not calculus, It deals with trees, paths, ordered pairs and, I assume, other landscaping subjects. I bought the textbook the other day, and I’m also happy to discover that the authors don’t like to make use of words such as “obviously” and ”clearly” which are surely the most frustrating words In the English language when in a certain context. For example “…then, differentiating f(g(x)) implicitly twice and with some algebraic manipulation after dividing both functions by a random number between 3.76 and 2,133,942 and holding the resulting equation up to a mirror, this is obviously special case of theorem 2.1. as Illustrated in figure 97.232.” (Okay, so I made this up, but I swear there is stuff like that In my calculus text book.) It is sure to be a fun semester with both calculus and discrete mathematics.

Shrug

In Conclusion

Well, hasn’t this been fun. You know, after spending a lot of time doing this, I’ve discovered that this isn’t so easy either, but it will look a heck of a lot better than that one newspaper-type letter. Or at least it had better.

I actually have no idea how full my layout frames will be after I import all of this text, and seeing how as I don’t really have much more to write about since I’ve seen most of my readers within the last couple of days, I guess I’ll end this here. Well, unless there is all kinds of nasty negative white space that I have to deal with. Then who knows what I’ll do?

Smitty’s Local Report – February 19, 1980

SMITH HOUSE REPAINTED

Because of the up coming party that is to be held before the SWEETHART BALL at our home, Beth Peden has agreed to paint our home the inside of course because it is much too cold to paint the outside. We will have the hose the same color, but a lot brighter because of the stove which heats our home has made the walls all black. We are quite glad the dirty walls will be clean once again.

HELP FOR CLEAN*UP NEEDED

Talking to the mother of the home where the party is to be held we have found that her children will be gladly helping her clean up the home.

The children were very glad to help the mother of the party out. We the reporters of th SMITTY’S LOCAL REPORT would like to congradulate the children for hel ping out thier mother.

THE GOLDEN SHOE

While Beth Peden was painting she steped into a pan or puddle of wet paint. Not knowing she spred paint all over the place. So, if you walk down the hall you may see something gold just give thanks to the GOLDEN SHOE.

DEAN LEAVES FOR GRANTS PASS

Dean Peden will leave for beautiful Grants Pass tommorow. He wil go down to repair organs. He will be returning Friday night. We sure will miss him Mom will have to drive to seminary. Oh well. Sorry he left today. Just heard from one of our reporters.

SPORTS

BLAZERS VS. KNICKS – During the game we led most of time at the end of the half the score was 51 to 50 Portland Trailblazers ahead.

Smitty’s Local Report – February 18, 1980

NATIONAL HOLIDAY

Today is a national holiday it is PRESIDENT’S DAY. On this day most people get out of school or work. The government tells us when to celabrate the day of AbrahamLincoln and George Washington’s birthday. It is a great time to pay our tribute to these two great presidents. So, get out your cherry pies but don’t expect your mail to come.

reporter Phyllis Smith

SWEET SIXTEEN BIRTHDAY

TOday some we all know very well is celebrating her sweet sixteen birthday, Kathy Coffey. She was questioned by our reporter how she felt about being sixteen she said that she really was’nt enjoying her day because she had to get rid of her dog Snoopy. But, she said she would get a bird because she got rid of her dog. The kind of bird she is looking forward to getting is a finch she already has a cage for it, and says she just can not wait. She will not get her presents until late tonight when her mother comes home. Kathy then will spend the evening doing something of her choice.

CLASSIFIED

Need some dog food for 32 cans that only cost $4.25 call 649-8497

FREE Labrador Retriever 1 year old black and very loving just call your local dog pound.

DAY AT THE BEACH

Dean and Beth Peden and Kerry Smith spent a day a the b each on February 18, 1980

They reported that the day had been somewhat cold and rainy but other than that had a quite good time. Dean had to work most of the time but, did have time to visit some good friends. They report they are in good health.

Kerry, Dean and Beth hope they can return soon, back to the Oregon Coast.

RICK FIND A NEW JOB

For those who do not know Rick Curtis has found a new job. He now installs installation. He does seem to enjoy the work and of course the money.

As we all know he has been out of a job for a long time and he very grateful to be able to support himself. NOW he wont have to give hiss Camaro back.

EDITORIALS

Not having dinner done when you get home from church is a pain in the stomach. -Dean Peden

Do’nt wait for your Mr. Right to come along, do something with yourself until he does come. UNKNOWN

POLICE VISIT OUR HOME

We know that Ricks music is very loud, wel we do not think it will be too loud for a while at 5:30 today the police came to our home and told Rick had his music way too loud. The people from down the street called the police. So, for at least awhile we will have no loud music.

Both Eric and I were rather surprised to see a police car in our driveway. But not really because the music was very loud.

BACK TO SCHOOL

After a four day weekend it is time to go back to school. On Friday we had a snow day so that was one day the weekend of course then presidents day. The students of all ages were glad to have this four day. IT was quite a good rest.

 

Smitty’s Local Report – February 17, 1980 (PM)

ANGELS SING

TODAY IN THE CHURCH of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints, a beatiful female choir sang a pleaseant song. At some parts of the song, Melissa Jones sang a solo part. The choir was directed by Valerie Briggs and the piano was played by Kaleen Bennett. There was a total of 17 women singing in the special choir.

SWEET-HEART BALL

THE SWEET HEART BALL is coming soon. It will be Sat. 23 at 8:00 at the church. Bring your sweet-heart to the ball.

EDITORIALS

Loud speakers don’t allow you to fall asleep in church – Dean Peden

Kurt Thomas is great! – Eric Smith

CLASSIFIED

WANTED: A reporter for this paper. (Call 649-3316)

WANTED: Some more classified adds to fill up some space here. (Call 649-3316)

SPORTS

OLYMPIC CRAZE

KURT THOMAS and BART CONNERS of the UNITED STATES won a total of 3 gold medals. Kurt received two golds and Bart won one. Along with the two golds, Kurt won a silver medal. The event was mens gymnastics. Some of the activities were, the floor excersize, the horse, the parralell bars, the vault, and the high bar.

COMICS HOORAYYYYYYYY!!

The Adventures of Pig Man

Smitty’s Local Report – February 17, 1980 (AM)

SWIM SUCSESS

The Smith, Peden, Curtis, Gustafson swim and pizza party was verry sucsessful. Every one had alot of fun. It was at the Tuwalitan Hills Olympic size pool on Walker Rd. They enjoyed pizza at the Sunshine Pizza Exchange in Aloha Oregon. They had planned to eat at Hokie’s Pizza Parlor But when they arrived at the pizza inn, it was closed. The extra driving was not such a bother though, for the ground was being covered by a light snow, making the trip more pleasent.

IT’LL BLAST YOUR SOCKS OFF

Do you like verry LOUD music? Rick Curtis of Beaverton does. HE plays music over his stereo in his room with a disco ball going. He is a D.J. for many church dances and just does his thing the whole time. He lifts wieghts to some of his recordstoo. Although he gets a few complaints from niebors, he still cranks up the ol’ stereo nice’n loud.

Loud Music

Blue and Gold Banquet

The annual Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet is comming up. It is Tuesday, Feb. 19 at Cooper Mt. School at 6:30.

FOUR DAY WEEKEND!!!!

Students of Beaverton School district got themselves a 4 day weekend when it snowed on Thursday evening Feb14. That canceled school for Friday so they a three day weekend. On monday though, we celebrated Washingtons birthday wich resulted in a four day weekend.

New scout master

Tom Joachim is now the new scout master and decon’s quarm adviser. His scouts think he is a good person to be scout master since Craig Neal, former scout master moved to Washington.

EDITORIALS

DISCO SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Alan Smith

COMICS HOORAYYYYYYYY!!

The Adventures of Pig Man