{"id":267,"date":"2007-11-04T20:10:20","date_gmt":"2007-11-05T03:10:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/2007\/11\/04\/the-gerbils-are-on-the-roof-and-we-cant-get-them-down\/"},"modified":"2007-11-04T20:10:20","modified_gmt":"2007-11-05T03:10:20","slug":"the-gerbils-are-on-the-roof-and-we-cant-get-them-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/2007\/11\/04\/the-gerbils-are-on-the-roof-and-we-cant-get-them-down\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gerbils Are On the Roof And We Can’t Get Them Down"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our gerbils died and for a few days Ethan and Gerrit were sad. We buried them at the base of our recently planted apple trees.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The gerbils joined our family three years ago. Eric and I decided to let the boys finally have a pet for all the usual reasons: they asked, waited two days asked, \u201cIs it later now\u201d, waited a week, \u201cIs it later now?\u201d some begging (I will hold it and love it and hold it and pet it) which progressed to groveling and also some promises of undying gratitude. Also, I\u2019m sure some part of me wanted to prove once and for all that Eric and I are the best, coolest, most fun parents ever. We did hope having a pet would be a good opportunity to teach our sons responsibility and at the very least they\u2019d water, feed and clean up after their pet some of the time.<\/p>\n

Naming our pets was the boys\u2019 first real chance to experience one of the many joys of pet ownership. Like proud parents the boys wanted to name their pets after people they loved and admired. Gerrit would call his gerbil Ethan and vice versa. We said this might be too confusing so then they wanted to name the gerbils after their current best friends Tyler and Thomas. Initially, this sounded\u00a0OK and we thought little boys would probably be gratified to have namesake gerbils, until one of the boys started complaining that Tyler had peed and pooped in his hand. This was how we discovered our first rule of pet parenting:<\/p>\n

#1 It\u2019s a good idea not to give your pets people names.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gerrit ultimately chose Rat Hero like a super hero for the rodent kind and Ethan named his pet Radio Active because he was so fast. We quickly began calling them Hero and Radio for short.<\/p>\n

\"Radio<\/p>\n

Radio Active<\/strong><\/p>\n

Getting a pet was so exciting for the boys. Gerrit was just starting kindergarten and Ethan was in 2nd grade. Almost all of Ethan\u2019s second grade writing mentions his pets. My second rule of pet parenting is:<\/p>\n

#2\u00a0Pets can go to school for show and tell only once and never ever again. Don\u2019t even bother asking because the answer is no!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In the three years we\u2019ve had the gerbils they made a few attempts at a \u201cgreat escape\u201d but for the most part they lived a quiet life. Recently, when Ethan came home from school and checked on the gerbils. He noticed Radio was looking very thin. He started to worry a lot. I got on the internet and did a search on gerbil illnesses and learned rapid weight loss was one of the many things your gerbil might die from–and quickly. One of the hard questions I had to try and answer was when Ethan asked why we didn\u2019t rush to the vet. It is hard to explain (maybe because it means I\u2019m heartless for thinking it) that a vet trip would cost more than buying ten new gerbils. Someone please tell me how to justify Pet parenting rule 3?<\/p>\n

#3 Sometimes you just have to let go–like when your pet is old and vetrinary care is an order of magnitude more than the replacement cost.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It was clear Radio was very sick. Ethan worried he had not taken good enough care of his pet. Ethan\u2019s heart was so heavy when he went to bed that night he couldn\u2019t sleep. I talked with him about how great it had been to have Radio, that he\u2019d done a good job taking care of him and that he was three years old\u2014by most accounts a good life span for a gerbil.<\/p>\n

Ethan wanted to know why we had to die. Here is yet another thing our pets have to teach. When you buy a pet for your children it is with thoughts of fun and responsibility. Talking to my son about death was not one of the things I’d considered at the pet store but my son wanted to know why his pet was dying. I said we should be grateful that when our bodies are too old or sick to go on we can die and go to our Heavenly Father. I assured him that since Radio and Hero had been good pets (only escaping a few times) I had no doubt about their exaltation (though obviously mine might be in serious question). Our talking done, I finally just lay beside Ethan while he went to sleep–the warmth of my back pressed against him radiating comfort just because he wasn\u2019t alone\u2014Mom was there sharing the sorrow. I\u2019m thankful I could be there for Ethan.<\/p>\n

Eric and I checked on Radio before going to bed that night but he was still breathing so we just hoped for the best. In the morning Ethan found him dead.<\/p>\n

As a parent, I generally want to save my children from sadness. I feel an almost primal desire to shield them from pain, but death and loss is also a part of pet ownership. We held a small funeral and buried Radio in the backyard. I recorded what Ethan wrote on Radio\u2019s box in my journal \u201cSaturday, September 1, 2007. This is where the body of Radio my gerbil lies. He was a good gerbil, friend, and pet. I love him.\u201d<\/p>\n

The pet store encourages buying gerbils in pairs since, being very\u00a0social animals, they\u00a0are unhappy\u00a0living alone. Radio\u2019s death was hard for both Ethan and Gerrit but I\u2019m sure it was much worse for Hero. I\u2019m grateful to Hero for the three weeks he lived alone without his brother. Still having Hero, to care for, seemed to comfort Ethan. He was very solicitous to their remaining pet giving Hero extra attention maybe because he could imagine how hard, lonely, boring and maybe scary life would be without his brother.<\/p>\n

\"Rat<\/p>\n

Rat Hero<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eric was away for the weekend when we noticed Hero was getting very weak. When I was talking with my Mom on the phone I said that I was worried our remaining gerbil was sick and might die. She suggested a trip to the vet, like a vacation, from which he\u2019d just never return. I didn\u2019t want my children to associate vacation and death like some really scary euphemism. Instead I crossed my fingers that he\u2019d live, but encouraged the boys to spend some quiet time with him in case he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I felt great personal gratitude to this little creature for not dying until Daddy was home. Eric got home Sunday night and Hero died sometime Monday morning. We buried him next to his brother under the apple tree.<\/p>\n

Our gerbils died and we were sad and that\u2019s OK. Sometimes, a month later, when I\u2019m cutting an apple or peeling a carrot I forget and save a small piece for them.\u00a0\u00a0I’ve almost gotten over the urge to save empty toilet paper tubes for them but\u00a0I still miss them a bit.\u00a0\u00a0Mostly I am grateful for the many things they taught our family. Radio and Hero taught all the lessons Eric and I in our limited parenting vision were hoping for and a few that we totally didn\u2019t expect. They taught: gentle handling of creatures smaller than yourself\u2014very useful with gerbils and little sisters; the unbridled pleasure and curiosity a clean cage would elicit; being responsible enough to keep another creature alive; cleaning up a mess you didn\u2019t make just because you\u2019re part of a family; death of your pet is sad, but\u00a0the sadness\u00a0doesn\u2019t last forever\u2014you\u2019ll feel better soon but be sure to love them while you can.<\/p>\n

Finally, if I were to die suddenly without properly planning my funeral my one request would be: please don\u2019t let Gerrit plan my funeral. I can see it now the agenda would go something like<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Dig hole<\/li>\n
  2. Stop to investigate bugs, worms, and rocks in hole<\/li>\n
  3. Take turns showing everyone what it\u2019s like to peek out of big hole and say, “Hey look at me!”<\/li>\n
  4. Leave mom half buried and wander away to find a ball or friend to play with.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now that I think about it, other than the half buried part, it would be\u00a0OK if Gerrit planned\u00a0my funeral ’cause he puts the “fun” in funeral.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Our gerbils died and for a few days Ethan and Gerrit were sad. We buried them at the base of our recently planted apple trees.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-familynews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=267"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1805,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/267\/revisions\/1805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/esmithy.net\/sparks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}